In the last 35 days I've done things I never thought I was capable of doing. I did most of the challenges I was not even willing to write down in my 'fears' list because I was too afraid to commit to those. Ever since my project went viral, as you may already know, I've received lots of criticism about my fears, people referred to them as "things they do on their daily life." Reading all the negative comments about the project helped me push my limits even further and gave me the drive I needed to face some big fears like skydiving, holding a snake and a tarantula, quitting my job, taking a trapeze class, eating very spicy food, eating insects and going on a rollercoaster for the first time in my life. So whoever said "Don't seek praise, seek criticism" was right! #30moredaystogo #wishmeluck #100dayswithoutfear
Day 70: Hit
What's the challenge?
To take a Krav Maga class (self defense system developed for the military in Israel).
What are you afraid of?
Not being able to defend myself in dangerous situations.
How was the experience?
While doing this project I came to the conclusion that I should not only face the things that I'm afraid of, but I should also do some challenges that will help me when scary situations come my way. So I decided to take a self defense class, better yet, a Krav Maga class with Master Dave Ordini.
As soon as I walked in, Dave welcomed me with some scary moves, something I was not expecting, but hey, that's how it is in reality, we are never prepared for crazy people out there! He taught me some basic things like: kick, punch, punch and the importance of Retzev (โcontinuous motionโ). When I was able to dominate that, we went on to practice scarier stuff, like being attacked with a knife, a gun or even a stick. I was surprised to see that with a few techniques here and there I was able to put in the ground big men like Dave or Adam. Me? Seriously? I had a hard time believing what I was seeing, but I guess that's the magic of Krav Maga! As soon as I graduate, I'll join the classes to fully dominate this system and feel more confident about myself.
Day 69: Get lost
What's the challenge?
To get lost in Chinatown by myself with no phone.
What are you afraid of?
Being in an unknown place where people might not speak my language.
How was the experience?
Today I decided to leave my phone at home and conquer Chinatown by myself. I knew I had to take the subway to Canal Street and then walk my way to the area. My initial plan was to visit the Chinese Museum, eat authentic food and then dessert at the original Chinatown Ice Cream Factory where they have asian-inspired flavors like green tea and sesame seed. I ended up getting one of the best back massages I've ever gotten, eating delicious food while enjoying a friendly conversation with a Chinese woman, buying all kinds of Chinese fruits and eating a papaya dessert from a bakery. I was not able to find the museum nor the ice cream factory, oh well, there goes a good reason to go back soon! I am now ready to travel to China by myself :P
Day 68: Hang in there
What's the challenge?
To take a trapeze class.
What are you afraid of?
New experiences outside of my comfort zone / heights.
How was the experience?
I never considered myself a person who's afraid of heights, till I was standing at the border of a hanging piece of wood about to jump and swing on a heavy metal bar. The hardest part was when I had to trust the instructor to let myself go to grab the bar before jumping. I was sweating and shaking at that moment. The funny thing is that I wasn't that scared when I made the decision to do trapeze, I had no idea it was going to be that scary. Once you're holding the bar and you let yourself go to start swinging, the experience goes from terrifying to the funnest thing in the world. Having tried trapeze and skydiving I think I kinda know what flying really feels like, and it's amazing!
Thank you CBS for setting this up and being so incredibly awesome! Jay Kernis, you rock. Huge thanks to Suzi and Stuart at Circus Warehouse for being amazing instructors and having so much patience, can't wait to come back for my 2nd official class.
Day 67: Celebrate
What's the challenge?
To not plan a special occasion, in this case, my birthday.
What are you afraid of?
Not being in control of what happens that day / disappointment.
How was the experience?
I'm such a big planner as you may already know by now, and when I don't plan I make sure someone else is taking care of that responsibility (my husband most of the times). This birthday, I decided to leave my day up to G-d and not plan a thing to see how that felt. When I plan something, I get very anxious because I have to make sure things go according to plan. But, by not planning anything at all, my goal was to finally be able to relax and let go control. I had a pretty good day overall, except for the weather that was not on my side, and I did all the things I enjoy (eating arepas, shopping, going to Central Park, sharing a Nutella waffle, eating at Santina and spending quality time with real friends). I learned that planning is not necessary unless you want to gather a big group of people by the end of the day, but who needs a big group of people? Who needs a proper cake? Who needs a perfect plan? Well, me, but not every year, and that's perfectly fine.
Day 66: Grow up
What are you afraid of?
Growing up.
How is the experience?
Since I was very little, I always wanted to be older than what I was. Growing up meant more independence, more rights and more status. Even though it still means that, plus so many other wonderful things like career advancement, deeper and better understanding of life itself and family growth, every year I get less and less excited around my birth date. Even though that part of growing up sounds nice, I'm terrified of the not-so-nice part of it, seems like the older you get the more complicated life gets. As I grow old the more responsibilities I have to assume. As I grow old the more people I will have to take care of. As I grow old, my parents grow old. This is how life is, and even though that is normal, I'm still very afraid of it. I have a hard time overcoming stages because thankfully, I've enjoyed every stage of my life so much that it is hard to let go. In this case, my year #26 was beyond amazing; I moved to the city of my dreams, I started the master program I wanted more than anything and I got to inspire so many people through this wonderful project, I can't complain. So even though I know my year #27 will bring incredible things and may even be better than the previous one, I'm still sad to say goodbye to 26 because I know it's not coming back. The only thing that allows me to understand that growing up doesn't mean growing old is the fact that you're age is what's in your heart, and at heart I will try my best to always be the young-spirited person I love to be. So happy birthday to me, and cheers for what life may bring this next year that starts today.
Day 65: Jump
What's the challenge?
To go skydiving.
What are you afraid of?
Dying basically.
How was the experience?
June 19th, 2015
12:00am to 6:00am โ No sleep whatsoever
7:00am โ Go to Penn Station
7:49am โ Depart from Penn Station to Speonk
9:45am โ Arrive to Long Island Skydiving Center
10:00am โ Sign about 200 times the creepy release form acknowledging that I can easily die
11:00am โ Get all geared-up and ready to go
11:15:am โ Say bye bye to your loved ones on the ground, and take off!
11:25am โ Keep climbing to 10,000 feet above the ground
11:30am โ Pray to G-d because you're about to jump!
The moment Mike opened the airplane's door I experienced an adrenaline rush for the first time in my life. I always imagined that at that moment I would be crying, passing out or panicking, but it was quite the opposite. I was extremely excited and eager to jump. The feeling was like nothing I've ever experienced before in my life, I can't even begin to describe it, so the best thing I can say is: TRY IT! It is so, so, so worth it and there is no way you will regret having this experience. My only piece of advice is for those of you who get motion-sick easily to take a Dramamine before jumping. That's it, no pain, no dying.
For the first time ever I consider myself somewhat brave :)
Day 64: Pajama day
What's the challenge?
To go outside wearing my pajamas.
What are you afraid of?
Embarrassment.
How was the experience?
I've always wanted to just get out of bed in the morning and go outside to grab something to eat without going through the hassle os dressing up, putting make up on, etc, etc. So today I did exactly what I always thought about doing but never really dared to do. I went straight from my bed to get breakfast at Paris Baguette a couple blocks away from my apartment. At first I was ashamed to look like a crazy person walking in NY, but then I got over it and embraced the fact that no one really cares. I think this will become my new thing from now on, it makes things so much easier in the morning :) Try it!!
Day 63: Hug
What's the challenge?
To give out free hugs at Times Square.
What are you afraid of?
Exposing myself to the unknown.
How was the experience?
Last week I got a call from FOX News saying that they wanted to write a story about my project. I invited them to join me while facing my "free hugs" fear and they loved the idea. So we went to Times Square at 10am and I stood there for an hour holding my green neon poster. It was very awkward at first since no one wanted to approach me, but suddenly more and more people were curious about my initiative and hugged me right away! I have no idea why I was afraid of doing this, it was an incredible experience and I got to hug more than 15 people! I had no clue I could enjoy hugging so much. I'm saving my poster for another occasion, it is definitely worth it and not scary AT ALL!
Day 62: Get hypnotized
What's the challenge?
To get hypnotized.
What are you afraid of?
Giving up control.
How was the experience?
When you think of hypnosis you probably picture a stage, a magician and a swinging watch, then your eyes swirling and finally you start acting like a farm animal, right? Well, my experience at Theta Spring Hypnosis Center had nothing to do with that. I discovered this place doing some research online, and the amount of good reviews was overwhelming. So I contacted them and they gladly invited me over. The place was beyond nice looking and as comfortable as a high-end spa. There, I had the pleasure of meeting Alexandra, the owner, who spent about an hour just talking to me trying to fully absorb everything about me. I told her about the project, we talked about fear in general, anxiety and control. Once that part was over, I leaned back on her gravity chair where she spent 20 minutes getting me relaxed and saying the necessary words to talk to my subconscious. Sessions like this should help me gain control over my fears and hopefully stop touching my hair anxiously. I felt very safe and relaxed being there and I would love to repeat the wonderful experience. Nothing to be afraid of!
Day 61: Shoot
What's the challenge?
To play paintball.
What are you afraid of?
Getting hurt.
How was the experience?
When I first got to Cousin's Paintball, I felt out of place but intrigued about the experience. It was like no other place I've been to before: manly, grungy and earthy! But management and the crew were so nice and helpful that it immediately made me feel much more comfortable. Once I was all geared-up, I kinda enjoyed the grunginess of the situation and how authentic the place really was. Before getting into the game we practiced on the shooting range and that got me in the mood, but as soon as I went into the "battle" I was completely terrified! Adrenaline kicked in and I was running all over the place shooting at trees. I got killed 3 times, but Adam killed one person! It was really fun but exhausting, I have to start working out again!
Day 60: Watch out!
What's the challenge?
To spend a few hours blindfolded around the city.
What are you afraid of?
Not being in control.
How was the experience?
When I was a little girl, my parents thought I was overly shy because I wouldn't leave their side. At the age of 6, they understood that my problem was that I was nearsighted. I started wearing glasses very early in life and my myopia continued to progress with age. When I turned 10 years old, I regained my self-confidence when I discovered contact lenses, but at age 20 my eyes started to reject them. I couldn't stand wearing thick glasses so I got Lasik surgery at 21. I was the happiest person alive for the next 5 years but disappointedly, my myopia came back about a year ago. The sense I'm most afraid of losing is sight, so I decided to face it by walking blindfolded. I had to fully trust my husband to walk, shop and eat. At first I was very shy and conscious about what others might think. Then, I was able to relax and appreciate my other senses. I would feel, smell and hear things I'm normally not aware of. I would get to picture in my mind how people looked according to their voice and guess what kind of food I was eating according to its taste. I was able to enjoy a conversation without having to look at my phone or my watch. Finally, I have to thank my husband Adam for having amazing patience with me and being extraordinarily supportive, I love you.
Day 59: Quit
Official resignation letter for Human Resources
What are you afraid of?
The unknown.
How was the experience?
Young&Rubicam was my first job ever, I graduated from college in 2011 and they hired me immediately. I spent 3 years working for them in Miami and then, when I got accepted into grad school in NYC, they agreed to transfer me to the office here. I couldn't be more grateful. But, as I said in my last post about disappointment, I can't do everything at the same time; something had to go. So one day, completely out of the blue, I took the decision to give my 2 weeks notice without worrying too much about the future. I have a very hard time letting go of stages in life, even though I know the best is yet to come. I will always remember this agency and the people with great love but it is time to move on. At least I had a proper goodbye with a farewell party on the rooftop with everyone, thank you for that guys! Now, to infinity and beyond <3
Day 58: Disappoint
What are you afraid of?
Disappointing the people I care about.
How was the experience?
I thought I could do it all: manage to maintain my full-time job, face one fear a day, blog about it and focus on my thesis. I was lucky enough to pick an all-star team that I had loved to work with for this big project. Sadly, I haven't been able to deliver the way I would like to. Between responding emails at work, planning my next fears, conquering them, editing each video, and now dealing with all the PR I've been getting and answering fan's emails, there's been very little time to focus on my thesis. This led me to disappoint my team on the first phase of the project. I promised to have my part of the work done, but the day arrived and I was far from being ready. I could sense the disappointment on their faces and the frustration of having to compete with my 100 day project that took over my life a couple weeks ago. I'm in a situation where no matter what I do I end up disappointing someone, whether my boss, my team or my inspired followers. So I want to dedicate this post to say I'm sorry to my colleagues at work, my incredible team and my 100 Days Without Fear followers who send me encouraging messages every day to help me keep going. Thank you all for understanding and I promise to do my best in the next month and a half to accomplish all of the goals and not disappoint.
Special thanks to Marissa, my awesome teammate, who has been extra supportive, understanding and encouraging these days, please take a look at her incredible project here.
Day 57: Pinch me
What's the challenge?
To try acupuncture.
What are you afraid of?
Needles.
How was the experience?
I needed a good excuse to try acupuncture, and since nothing was really bothering me, I decided to treat stress (that is something that is bothering me right now between work, thesis and facing fears). So, I went to this place and before I knew it they were applying the needles on my toes, arms, belly, head and ears. Some hurt more than others but it was all pretty uncomfortable overall. I'm definitely not a needle-friendly person and I don't think that will ever change. When the needles were all in, they allowed me to rest for 45 minutes. That part was not so bad, of course, as long as I was not thinking about the needles that were all over my body! Do I feel more relaxed? Hmmm.. not really! But I feel pretty brave I allowed a stranger to put needles on my body.